So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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