I'm so fucking centered right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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