After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
