yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize