He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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