i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
