This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's like iHOP with fire
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
