what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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