NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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