i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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