Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
