first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize