it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
