I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
