oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
