I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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