hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
