Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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