oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Drunk is a universal language darling
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
