I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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