Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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