she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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