dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
