can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
