Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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