considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you win again, gameday.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
