just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
