No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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