Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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