singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
