Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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