today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
