wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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