I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
