I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
