Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
