we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
