i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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