i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
