Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
