I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
