Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
