Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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