just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
