ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
