then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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