I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
