these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
