After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
