You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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