I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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