So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
