Dual....:-)
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
