My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
