Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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