she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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