dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
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WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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