yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
