saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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