umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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