I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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