4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize